A to Z Theme 2016
For my 2016 A to Z theme I'll be using a meme that I ran across on the blog of Bridget Straub who first saw it on the blog of Paula Acton. This meme is a natural for me to use on my memoir blog. It's an A to Z concept and it's about me. No research and nothing complicated. I'm given twenty six questions or topics to discuss that are about me.In April I'll be keeping my posts short and uncomplicated. In the midst of it all you might learn a few things about me that you didn't previously know.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
What I Did For Love (#atozchallenge)
A Chorus Line "What I Did For Love" (1975)
What I Did For Love
Love is like the fuel that moves us though life. We all want to be loved and we need someone--or something--to love. The love to motivate us. Inspire us. Comfort us. Love is one of the basic needs of survival.
My parents showed great love for me and my siblings. We never lacked for anything and had more than we ever needed. I tried my best to do the same for my own children and to a great extent I think I succeeded. I could have done better for my son, but I believe my daughters felt very loved. They tell me so now and they've all grown to be happy well-adjusted women who are doing the same for their children. Some aspects of love are learned from the experiences of childhood. I did my best for my daughters.
There is a certain amount of sacrifice involved in loving. I prefer not to think of it as sacrifice as much as a sort of moral obligation and a driving need to give those whom we love the love that we want for ourselves. It's the Golden Rule. It should all come naturally, but for some I guess it doesn't. That's something that I don't understand, but maybe that's because I've never been beaten down in life. I have always been loved even when I didn't feel so loved.
Others have hurt me and I know I've hurt people. I never wanted to--not deep inside--but sometimes in anger we can lash out. We can say the regrettable, speaking the words that cut deep and become difficult to forget. And cruel cutting words have been said to me more than I would have liked.
Loving is a risk that we take in our lives. Sometimes we win and when we lose the losses can be huge. When the hurt has come I have tried to hate, but the hatred, the anger, the hurt are temporary. For me at least that is the case. I've let things go. Or perhaps I just have a lousy memory.
There is no lost love in my life, only love tucked neatly away in a sad darkened corner of my memory. True love never dies. How can it? It's something that existed in time and therefore exists in eternity. If I once felt love then that love is still there. Somewhere. I might not admit it. I can't admit it to some for they might misunderstand. Sometimes people get confused by love.
What have I done in my life for love? I have allowed myself to become vulnerable. I have laid my soul bare at the risk of being hurt. I have been willing to let my obsequious tears flow into the invisible river that love has filled through the ages. When I have loved I have given my weak and trembling heart into the hands of that someone whom I trusted and held in esteem.
Betrayal and rejection has caused pain that seemed like it would be infinite. But it wasn't. Anger subsided. Wretched bitterness was sweetened by the passage of time. And as I look back on the paths that led me to where I am now I realize that all was to be as it is. Love never really dies. Everything that has happened in my life is who I am now and that is okay.
I did many things for love and learned many lessons. I can never stop loving. Never.
Do you believe that love can ever die? Has time diminished any bad feelings for those who may have hurt you in the past? Do you recognize the love that is in your life now?