A to Z Theme 2016

For my 2016 A to Z theme I used a meme that I ran across on the blog of Bridget Straub who first saw it on the blog of Paula Acton. This meme is a natural for me to use on my memoir blog. It's an A to Z concept and it's about me. No research and nothing complicated. I'm given twenty six questions or topics to discuss that are about me.

In April I kept my posts short and uncomplicated. In the midst of it all you might learn a few things about me that you didn't previously know.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Secret Sister Strategy (Lost & Found: Valentine's Edition)


        This post is my Wrote By Rote entry for the Lost & Found: Valentine's Edition blog hop hosted by Guilie Castillo-Oriard, Alex J Cavanaugh, Denise Covey, Yolanda Renee, Elizabeth Seckman, and me.  Be sure to visit all of the hosts for this event.  To find the full list of participants visit the list on Tossing It Out or any of the host sites.  My post on Tossing It Out (appearing on February 1st) will also feature a related Battle of the Bands installment so please be sure to visit and vote if you can.

        Participants are sharing their stories and experiences concerning love lost and love found.   We all have stories in our lives relating to this matter.   I have several.  This is one of them--the most important one...

The Secret Sister Strategy

         As far as things go in my life 1992 was kind of a bad year for me.  My wife at the time and I had only been living in Los Angeles for less than a year when she seemed to go haywire.  The end result was that she left me and our daughters to pursue the proverbial greener grass that in the end was not all that green--but that's her story to tell and not mine.

          My world seemed upended as future dreams for that marriage were shattered and I was left to contend with holding down my job while attempting to provide as much stability and normalcy to my daughters' lives as I could muster.  With the help of God and a few well placed individuals I managed on through the next few years.  I was depressed and heartbroken, but I knew that life had to keep going.   I had kids to raise and a broken self to fix.

          A few relationships were attempted, but nothing seemed quite right with those so they didn't get far.  Those ladies wanted things to go further, but I was wary after having gotten burned already.  My priority was taking care of my children and that can be a hindrance to a relationship.  The main thing I wanted to avoid was getting involved in a relationship that wouldn't last.  When warning signals began flashing, my response was to back off and rethink the situation.  I was lonely for a partner, but I didn't want to take a step that might send me off of another emotional precipice.

        In 1996, after my oldest daughter had entered middle school, a different strategy evolved.  She had many friends, but there was one in particular that was her "best friends forever" type of friendship.  They became almost inseparable.  During their times together they obviously discussed their lives and found that they were in similar situations.   My daughter's friend's mother was also a struggling single parent.   Enthralled by the idea of becoming sisters so they could always be together they devised a scheme.

        The girls were at this time ready to enter high school.  An opportunity arose with the orientation for new students and their parents.  I sensed that something was afoot by hints my daughter had been dropping about meeting people on that evening.   After the orientation event was over, my daughter introduced me to her friend's mother.  As the girls slyly went ahead to giggle and chat with each other, this lady and I were left in an awkward position of making small talk.   My daughter's hints were not lost upon me so as we all parted I suggested to my new acquaintance that perhaps we could go out for dinner one night.  I got her phone number and told her I'd call later to make arrangements for our "date".

         As things turned out, Betty and I went out for our dinner date.  I was impressed and apparently so was she.  Betty was not confident about her ability to communicate since English was her second language, yet we always found plenty to talk about as we spent evenings on the phone and began going out on a regular basis.  Her communication was fine as far as I was concerned.   She was intelligent--after all she held a PhD and worked in the field of education.  After a year of dating we got married at the end of 1997.

        Most likely we would have never encountered one another on our own.   We found each other through the secret strategy of two young girls who wanted to be sisters.  Thanks to our daughters we were able to establish a new family.   They each gained a new parent and Betty and I gained new daughters.

           Now the girls are grown and have moved away to start their own lives and families.  Betty and I still have each other.   This year we'll celebrate our 19th anniversary.   We've been discussing our future plans for after Betty retires.   She's a wonderful lady with great values.  She is definitely a keeper.  I don't want to lose her.

           


36 comments:

  1. Oh my god what a fabulous story!!!!!! I had no idea! Set up by two kids and it worked out perfectly! I love it!

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    1. JoJo, I've got some smart daughters and they are now wonderful parents themselves.

      Lee

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  2. Wonderful story that is even better by being true.

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    1. Ann, it's a story with a good ending to date.

      Lee

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  3. Very nice, Lee. I like that you were open to the girls trying to make both parents feel better about themselves as a side to getting to be sisters. That means you're pretty smart, too! Almost like that old movie, Family Trap where the twins set the parents up. . .

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    1. DG, their efforts sure beat my unsuccessful attempts at finding a new partner. A remake of the Disney film Parent Trap came out after Betty and I had already gotten married, but maybe the girls saw the 1961 version. Then again it's a ruse that may have come natural to my girls.

      Lee

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  4. Hi Lee - that's a fantastic story ... lovely and I'm so pleased you're so happy. Then your daughters ... must be lovely for them it all worked out so well. Cheers Hilary

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    1. Hilary, I think they're all very happy with the outcome of this story.

      Lee

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  5. What a sweet tale, Lee. Bless the girls for showing you the way.

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    1. Patricia, our girls are pretty smart young ladies and now doing well for themselves.

      Lee

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  6. This is a wonderful love story, Lee! The Secret Sister Strategy... Would love to read the book ;) After my parents split up, I had a couple of friends with whom I fantasized about becoming sisters... Never worked out, though. Your daughters were better matchmakers, I think ;)

    Loved this opening to the Lost & Found hop! Thanks for sharing, Lee, and for masterminding the event... If your post is any indication, we have so much to look forward to as the posts go up :)
    Guilie @ Quiet Laughter

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    1. Guilie, I think there will be a wide variety of very good stories. Thanks for helping to put Lost & Found together.

      Lee

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  7. Oh, this is wonderful. I had no idea! You have such amazing daughters.

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    1. Kelly, I'm biased, but I agree about the wonderfulness of my daughters.

      Lee

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  8. What a great, classic story. I needed daughters like that back in High School, lol!

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    1. CW, if you'd had daughters like that when you were in high school that would have added a whole new dimension to the story along with a unique set of problems for you.

      Lee

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  9. Hi Lee,
    Thanks for sharing a beautiful story. Isn't it amazing how kids can be a catalyst for a new beginning in a relationship? Their own desires are sometime an extension of what we feel but are afraid to act upon.
    All the best for the next nineteen years and more.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

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    1. Pat, now if only after my wife retires we can figure a way for us and all of our girls and their families to move closer together. We miss our grandkids--and our daughters too!

      Lee

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  10. What a wonderful story, Arlee. It's like the "Parent Trap," only a little different. I'm so glad you found someone who fills that emptiness and that you are growing together and formed a new family.

    Play off the Page

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    1. Mary, my wife and I have been good for each other. We are so different in so many ways and yet have a common goal that keeps us moving forward together.

      Lee

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  11. This story reminded me of The Parent Trap as well. What smart daughters you have!

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    1. Tamara, I must admit we do have smart daughters who are now doing quite well in very different ways from each other.

      Lee

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  12. Seriously? The girl's scheming worked? Now that is epic.

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    1. Crystal, it was a good plan I think and the timing was just right.

      Lee

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  13. What a fabulous love story!! I can just hear the girls' giggles as they plotted and schemed to have you and Betty meet. I could see this being a book or a movie even.
    I think the Angels worked through your daughters to facilitate that meeting that would be the beginning of a new and exciting life.
    Great story Lee. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for this fun bloghop!

    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. Michele, I agree that there was a greater power at work in this relationship. Now my wife and I continue to grow together and life is very nice.

      Lee

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  14. A truly lovely story of love found. It's wonderful that you're so happy! Your daughters are a wonderful blessing!

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    1. And now they are blessing us with grandkids and families.

      Lee

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  15. That is the best story ever. I'm sure you'll find ways to keep each other company in Betty's retirement!

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    1. Elizabeth, hopefully we'll stay in good enough shape to keep traveling a lot--as long as the finances hope up.

      Lee

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  16. What a wonderful story! It should be a movie... (Tom Hanks could play you?) Your daughters did you a wonderful favor. I hope you send them each a bouquet of flowers on your wedding anniversary each year. :)

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    1. Susan, I'd have to add more to the story to make it a movie. Maybe a good car chase? I think we did our daughters a favor by getting married--we gave them a two parent household and a greater sense of stability and normalcy.

      Lee

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  17. What a wonderful story. It seems like we always have to go through the fire to get where we need to be.

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    1. Sandra, without a bit of pain in life we probably wouldn't appreciate the good times as much.

      Lee

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Arlee Bird